


If Sleep Was Optional, We'd See A Lot More Stars

by ourheart



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everybody Lives, Fluff, Gen, Non-Binary Chara, Non-Binary Frisk, Oneshot, with a touch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8572708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourheart/pseuds/ourheart
Summary: “Please, Chara. I know you so well that there’s nothing you could do to surprise me.”“Well that just sounds disappointing. I guess I should try harder.”-Insomnia hits hard, and two children have to find their own ways to fight it - Even if it means breaking some very sensible rules.(Written by Eissibee)





	

You never realised until now just how _loud_ the grandfather clock in the hallway was. Were clocks supposed to be that loud? You could hear it through the walls, a steady, _tock tock tock_ that reminded you of an old man telling a story. Accompanying the sound was the more frantic _tick-tick-tick-tick_ of the clock in your room, the moonlight through the window illuminating the small clock face where it sat on the dresser. You buried your face in your pillow and groaned.

 

_Tock. Tock. Tock..._

_Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick…_

 

Summoning your deadliest glare, you rolled over and tried to will the bedroom clock to burst into flames. For what must have been the tenth time tonight, you confirmed that yes, it was still getting ever closer to morning and yes, you were still awake - much to your displeasure. You could practically feel your eyebrows twitching in annoyance, and decided to attempt _forcing_ yourself to sleep. Mainly by slamming your face repeatedly into the pillow. Unfortunately, pillows don’t make great catalysts for getting knocked unconscious, but you are just so _frustrated with your stupid. Fucking. Insomnia. By. Now. And-_

“...Chara?”

Well, now you’ve gone and done it. Your unbridled, overtired fury managed to rouse your friend from their rest. Nice one.

“Sorry Frisk,” You mumble mid face-plant, resigning to leave your face half buried in the soft fabric. “Didn’ mean to wake you…”

A small silhouette sat up in the bed across from you and reached for the lamp on their bedside table. You heard a click as the room was filled with a soft yellow light. Blinking a few times, your bleary eyes adjusted to the change.

“You didn’t wake me, I... wasn’t asleep. Did you have another nightmare?” They posed the question tentatively, as they knew how touchy that subject could be to you. Having a body, along with all the _lovely_ free packages (such as dreams), was still something you were getting used to after having been a ghost for so long. But then, that’s why you had been put in Frisk’s room. To adjust together _with_ them.

“No, I didn’t have a nightmare,” You curtly replied, fully aware that your tone was perhaps too snarky for someone trying to comfort you. “I almost wish that I did. At least that would’ve meant I was asleep at _some_ point tonight.”

Frisk looked you over for a moment, before wriggling out from under their duvet and swinging their legs around so they could perch on the edge of their mattress. They rested their hands in their chin and yawned, a sympathetic smile on their face.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m soooo tired, but I just can’t sleep tonight - Er… This _morning_.” They corrected, glancing at the clock with a grimace. “Figures we’d share the same problems after the split and all.” Frisk gave a tired giggle and slipped onto the floor to sit with their legs folded. You sighed through your nose and rolled off your bed, taking your duvet with you, a very tired and bad-tempered blanket burrito.

“So… What do you propose we do?”

“Depends,” Frisk mused, “Do you know any magic spells that could let us get on the snooze train?”

“Hmm… Well, I’ve heard warm milk can help. Or… lots and lots of booze.”

“Chara, no. We’re not raiding Mom’s liquor cabinet. Or the kitchen in general. Last time you tried to make warm milk you practically filled the mug with chocolate powder!”

“Well, milk on it’s own is boring!”

“I don’t think so. Milk tastes nice as it is!”

“WHY ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT THE TASTE OF MILK AT TWO IN THE MORNING, FRISK.”

“SHHH. Keep your voice down or you’ll wake Mom and she’ll come yell at us!”

“Fine.”

“...Hey. Unwrap your blanket so I can squeeze in there. It’s cold.”

“No. It’s mine, get your own.”

“Come on Chara, don’t be a hog.”

“No. Frisk, stay on yOUR SIDE OF THE ROOM, FRISK-”

 

_Womp._

 

Well. That was one way to overpower you. Just collapsing on top of you. With a sigh, you rolled them off you and sat up to (reluctantly) hold your duvet open. Frisk, of course, wasted no time in snuggling in next to you and pulling the duvet up around themselves.

 

_Tock. Tock. Tock..._

_Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick…_

 

The two of you huddled there on the bedroom floor for a while, sharing the welcome comforts of body warmth and friendly silence. Frisk had retreated further into the burrito so the blanket rested on their head, hands free, making it more like a tent.

You huffed, wrapping the duvet tighter around your shoulders. “Feeling tired yet?”

“Not at all.” Frisk sighed. “This stinks. If we can’t fall asleep we might as well find something to do… And no, Chara, that doesn’t mean balancing a bucket of water on top of every door in the house...”

You grinned at the thought and turned to raise an eyebrow at them.

“...Or painting Asriel rainbow with hair colouring chalk. _Or_ covering the doorways with clear plastic wrap. Or-”

“You know me that well, huh?”

“Please, Chara. I know you so well that there’s _nothing_ you could do to surprise me.”

“Well that just sounds disappointing. I guess I should try harder.” You stuck your tongue out, and Frisk returned the gesture with a confident smirk. You glanced up at the clock and chuckled to yourself, earning you a questioning look from the resident blanket thief. Getting to your feet and stretching, you let the duvet fall to completely bury Frisk, who issued out a small squeak of annoyance. You lifted up the corner to flash your best grin for your confused friend.

“I think I might surprise you yet, Frisk. Come on, get up.”

“What are you planning?”

“Heh heh. You’ll see.”

Without any further explanation, You let go of the duvet corner, ignoring Frisk sounding their indignation at being buried again. Shrugging on a tattered brown jacket, you turned to your bedside drawer and dug around inside, quickly slipping the small switchblade you had hidden there into your pocket before your friend can see. You know they’d disapprove of you even having it, but it had become quite a good precaution as of late. Old habits and all that.They emerged from the blanket tent, their hair sticking up in every possible direction. Still grinning, your eyes alight with bold excitement and the kind of energy one only gets at such a late hour, you grabbed Frisk by the wrist and led them over to the bedroom window.

You only half listened to their complaints as you pulled up the blinds and tugged at the old wooden window frame, succeeding in yanking it open with only a mild creak. You heard their tone of voice grow concerned, but you shushed them and begin to climb out the window. Despite being on the second floor, your window happened to be right next to an old ladder that was attached to the side of the house and never removed. It was a little rusty, but you trusted it. The speed with which you descended shows this was hardly the first time you’d done this. When your bare feet touched down on the soft grass of the garden, you looked up at Frisk and hurriedly signaled for them to follow. You saw them grimace and start to sign at you from the window.

_What are you doing?_

You rolled your eyes and signed back, not too eager to wake up the household. Your signs are shaky, but you managed to gesture for them to trust you and get down quickly.

Frisk looks uneasy, but they slowly climbed out of the window and down the ladder, far more gracefully than you could. They try to hiss their question at you a second time, but you cut them off with a finger pressed to your lips. They almost yelp as you snatched their wrist up again and started running down the silver garden, the moon and stars providing plenty of lighting for this little adventure. You crept out onto the street, and looked around like a meerkat on patrol, before darting off up the road, dragging Frisk helplessly in tow.

Your neighbourhood wasn’t exactly an area with the most valued property, but it was a fairly safe residential block that was as tame as a kitten compared to the places you and Frisk used to live on the surface. The best part about it was that it was fairly close to a large park that was sandwiched between your neighbourhood and the nearby shopping district. The park was curled around and up a small mountain, filled with bush walks and smaller gardens. There was a playground at the base, but you walked through it, ignoring the swings and slides decorated with peeling red paint. Frisk fidgeted beside you, clearly unnerved by being out after dark like this. You were far more confident in your steps, one hand in your jacket pocket as you walked, keeping your awareness as sharp as the night air.

As you strolled towards the gate at the far end of the playground, a shadow shifted in your peripheral vision. You almost hesitated, but recovered enough to keep walking, your eyes calmly surveying the area. You didn’t want to upset Frisk, so you said nothing, but you were all too aware of that familiar feeling of being watched. Shit, the whole point of coming out at this hour was to _avoid_ other people. It was fine, you’d learnt the layout of the park fairly well from your own escapades. You could navigate it better than anyone, even in the dark, and you were well prepared to get back into _more_ old habits should a shadow decide to follow you.

Leading the way, you took Frisk through the gate and up into the park. It wasn’t long before the pathway dissolved into a near pitch dark tunnel of trees and bushes. Frisk stayed quiet, but they let you lead them along. A glimmer of warmth fluttered in your heart at their trust in you. And boy, were you going to make it worth it with your surprise. Still, precautions were a good idea. You took a sharp turn, breaking off from the main bush path and heading off into a narrow side trail. It was filled with zig-zags and other trails that broke away and led all over the park. Moonlight filtered through the leaves enough that you knew exactly where you were going, bare feet crunching lightly on dead leaves and forest debris as you climbed further up the mountain. Frisk was clinging to your arm now, dragging their feet more and more as doubt began to take over where trust resided.

“Chara,” They whispered, as though afraid the trees could hear. “Chara, I don’t think we should be here. W-We should go back. What if we get lost? I didn’t bring my phone and Mom would be so upset and-”

“Frisk, stop worrying, okay?” You retorted, keeping your voice low for your own reasons. “I know this place forward, back and sideways. You said I couldn’t surprise you, but I think I can prove you wrong.”

“Okay yeah _fine, Chara,_ you’re very surprising and edgy walking around forests at night but can we please go home now?”

“...Not yet. I want to show you something. We’re almost there, anyway.”

You didn’t slow your pace, legs pumping as the slope got a little steeper. Insects chirped about you, and all the shadows were in their rightful places. Nothing wrong, everything was fine, everything was fine. Soon enough there was a break in the trees, as the incline began to level out. You found yourself letting out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, as you made it at last to your destination.

“We’re here.”

Making a wide, sweeping gesture with your arm, you smiled as Frisk peeked out from behind you at the little spot you’d brought them to. It was an old lookout space, clearly once meant for viewing the city, as the weathered remains of a concrete foundation showed where there was once a bench. It was forgotten and overgrown, but a few slumbering flowers littered the grass. Tall trees surrounded the area like leafy walls, protecting but not intruding. But most impressive of all was the view. Someone must have once chosen this place for a reason, after all. The lookout held an open, glorious view of the city, thousands of colourful lights twinkling in the distance, and even more shining in the night sky. Mt Ebott was _just_ visible in the far distance, a towering reminder of how far they’d come.

You heard Frisk take a sharp little breath, and you loosened your grip on their wrist, moving to let them go. Their fingers fell into your own instead, and they held your hand as they stepped forward, eyes bright with all they were taking in. Your lopsided smile grew as you moved along with them to stand at the edge. This high up, the winds were a little more fierce, but neither of you felt the chill. It was as if your souls were keeping you both warm as you held the view in wonder. You’d been here before yourself, many times, but it still blew you away. Seeing your close friend witness it for the first time, though, _that_ was truly satisfying. Why look to the sky for the stars when you can see them shine in the eyes of the people you hold dear? You think you read that in a poem somewhere.

“This… This place is _beautiful,_ Chara!” Frisk breathed beside you. You chuckled and tugged on their hand, inviting them to sink to the ground with you, amidst the silvery-green carpet.

“Surprise.” You smirked. You couldn’t help it. Never let it be said again that you were _predictable._

“Okay, I’ll admit it,” Frisk laughed, the sound ringing out like a sleigh bell. “You surprised me. You’ve… been here before? When?”

“Well…” You shuffled forward, folding your legs and leaning back on your free hand. “Tonight wasn’t the first time I’ve had trouble sleeping. And when I’m restless, I guess I’m reckless, too. Though… How I was growing up, we weren’t exactly warned that wandering at night was too dangerous.” You rub your nose, a hint of pride in your tone. “ _I_ used to _be_ that danger.”

Frisk stiffened ever so slightly, and was silent as they gently removed their hand from yours and placed it in their lap. You felt a wave of guilt wash over you and sat up quickly. The night air suddenly felt a lot colder. “N-Not that I ever… y’know... I just picked a f-few pockets or stole from wandering drunks, i-it wasn’t like th-”

“It’s fine, Chara. Don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry, Frisk.”

“I said it was fine.”

“...Sorry anyway.”

Frisk turned back to give a weak little smile. Considering what they had been through, of course _that_ would upset them. You cursed yourself for your stupid mouth (not an uncommon practice), but they seemed to forgive you all the same, even if their eyes still held a lingering shadow. You silently hoped the stars would chase those shadows away. Frisk turned back to gaze into the dimly lit horizon, their expression unreadable. You couldn’t keep your hands still, suddenly all too aware that they were empty and that you’d messed up, you always mess up, you can’t even-

“...I can’t imagine what that would have been like.”

You were jolted from your snowballing anxieties by their quiet voice. “Huh?”

“Growing up how you did, I mean. I can’t imagine… I mean, things were never easy for _us_ but… We had a roof, and food and water-”

“Hey, I had those things too, it’s-”

“But you had to _take_ them. To fight in the streets for everything you owned. I just… How did you even manage it? You were just a little kid.”

You were quiet for a moment, jarred by the sudden shift in the conversation. You spoke more quietly, your hands moving to clutch at the cool grass and soil beneath you.

“Yeah, I was. I don’t know if it would have been easier or harder if I’d been with a gang like some other younger kids, but they wouldn’t have me anyway. It doesn’t matter. I just _had_ to manage it, Frisk. I guess that’s all there was to it. I just had to keep going, and-”

“-And stay determined.”

“...Yeah. That. But I could take care of myself, and now I’ll never be scared of the dark.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“Nah. The dark can be an ally. It’s protected me plenty of times. All the same, though…”

You stretch out your arms and lay back on the grass.

“I always liked the light of the stars.”

Frisk blinked at you in surprise and smiled, a little less tense now. They nodded in agreement and lay back as well, just breathing in the night air and experiencing the hour that very few people were awake to see. It always made you feel a little bit better, like the world was empty for a moment and it had this performance just for you. But, you were even more glad to share this with Frisk. Time seemed to stand still, like the world itself was in a glass bottle, sitting on a lonely shelf in an antique store. It was still, but not altogether quiet, as the early morning singing of various creatures started to fill the darkened sky. Still, how odd that it felt like mere seconds had passed before the sun finally began to rise.

You nudged Frisk to open their eyes and sat up, the two of you staring at Mt Ebott as a delicate thread of golden light peeked from behind it. Your eyes suddenly felt damp, but you assured yourself that you weren’t crying as the sun began it’s careful and steady journey up into the sky once again, staining the indigo sky a gentle pink hue.

 

-

The trip back down the mountain park was a lot easier than the trip up, mainly because Frisk was no longer suspicious of your intentions. The only real risk was how slippery the dead leaves made the downward sloping paths, but the faint light of the lingering stars above let you both see which branches to grab for security. There was a sort of buzz between the two of you, like that shared dawn lit up more than just the horizon. Still, it wasn’t _too_ light yet. You knew Toriel was an early riser, but even she wouldn’t be awake now to find you both missing. This was a fairly practiced excursion, after all. But there was no denying that sleep still seemed far away, even after all that. You both laughed as you barrelled down the narrow side path, hand in hand for safety, heading towards the playground at the base of the park.

Frisk was in the middle of telling you their favourite kind of sunrises and sunsets, (nothing could beat the one from that day they broke the barrier, of course) when they fell oddly quiet. You turned away from them, one hand on the rusted gate, and you felt your breath stop short in your throat. Frisk squeezed your hand and moved closer to you. There, on one of the swings ahead of you, sat the silhouette of what appeared to be a middle aged man. Shadows covered his face, but it was clear he was staring right at the two of you. The hairs on your arms rose, and your hand drifted immediately to rest in your coat pocket.

You set your mouth in a hard line, and pushed the gate open with your elbow to step through. It was no use hesitating, you both had to go through this playground to get home. Better to just walk quickly and not make eye contact. You had only taken a few steps when the man lurched off the swing and staggered to stand in your way. He belched and coughed, and the strong smell of alcohol clawed at your nose. Ah, so he was a drunk. That would make a potential fight easier to win, but with Frisk here, you wanted to avoid that sort of thing. Your mind drifted back to your previous conversation with Frisk and the memory only made your gut twist in shame. You didn’t want to upset them even more today by doing something stupid. Plus, they’d definitely try to take the knife off you later if they knew you had it. Crimson eyes shut tight as your silent prayer was ignored, the drunk opening his grimy mouth to yell across the way at you both.

“Hahaha! Whassis then? A couple of lost little girlies by themselves, ay? Haha...”

Your hand still held tightly in Frisk’s, you moved them further behind you. Though you couldn’t see their face, you knew the man’s words had ripped open more than one old scar in you both. You could feel your knuckles turning white in your pocket as you gripped the knife’s handle almost painfully. It could be so easy. You could just make him _go away._ You could just make him leave you alone. Fear was an excellent motivator, and if this creep was too drunk to be as scared of you as he should be, then you would be _happy_ to give him a few reminders. All you’d have to do would be to take your hand from your pocket. From there, things would just fall into a familiar and comfortable rhythm that you had neglected for a while. Just holding the blade made your knees less shaky, but to use it again…

“...C-Chara…?” Frisk’s quiet voice trembled behind you, asking an unfinished question you knew the answer to already.

The drunk swayed and took another step closer, causing the two of you to back up towards the park gate. No, no, you needed to get OUT of this place, not further back into it! Grinning and coughing some more, the man pointed at you with his empty glass bottle in hand.

“You could get in a lotta trouble, wanderin’ round here at night! You need someone to look after ya.” His words slurred together and a dry bark of laughter rattled up his throat. The early morning chill wasn’t the only thing giving you goosebumps, it seemed.

“Leave us alone. I’m warning you.” Your voice was surprisingly steady for once, your words hissed low between clenched teeth. Perhaps the blade in your hand was giving you the strength you needed. Perhaps you just wanted to protect the person you cared about. Perhaps… A part of you had missed this. Slowly, cautiously, an old grin stretched out sordid features. Not the lopsided smile from before, no… This was the smile you wore like armour, a war banner waving brightly in the wind. The drunk didn’t seem to notice how your demeanor had changed.

“Oh? What, you wanna fight me, runt?” The drunk drawled, lifting his bottle like a very unimpressive impression of a sword. It wasn’t even broken.

Too easy.

His words only made your grin grow wider, an invitation you had been waiting for. You gladly accepted. Scarred fingers curled tighter around the knife handle, but your advance was interrupted by a tug on your sleeve. Frisk held your free hand pleadingly, fear shining in dark brown eyes. Barely glancing at them, you pushed them further back behind you and ripped your hand from their grip. Your other hand was slowly withdrawn from your jacket pocket, the blade revealing itself in the glow of a nearby dying streetlight. It flashed proudly, a silver beacon of your strength, and the threats you would not so idly make. The drunk seemed coherent enough to recognise what it was, as he stumbled a few steps back, drawing his bottle closer to his chest.

“What the fuck!? Why do you-”

“Surprised?” You drawled lazily, twirling the knife in your hand and stalking forward with a very singular purpose. “You shouldn’t be. You wanted a fight, right?”

“You’re j-just a bloody kid!”

“Well, you’re right about that. We are, in fact, _children_ . Something you clearly didn’t care about a minute ago.” Another step closer, weapon in hand, smirking as the man retreated further from you. “But children love to play with toys, right? This is mine. Since you were so eager for the game before…” Your airy tone dropped to an bitter indifference, your voice not shaking in the slightest as you issued your challenge. “Let’s _play._ ”

Your anger practically radiated off you despite your cheery grin. An onlooker would say you looked more like a kid at the fair than someone fighting off a pissed stranger. Summoning that rage was easy, focusing it into your glare was a natural second step. The man wilted under your fiery gaze. It seemed the fight had clean left him, just like that. Behind you, you hear Frisk step forward to ask you an anxious question.

“Chara, what are you _doing!?_ ”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m looking out for you, against this scumbag here.”

Sun-browned hands gripped at your free arm, tugging more harshly now. Frisk wasn’t scared of you, even like this. Slowly, you turned to face them properly, your grin fading from your eyes as you regarded them.

“ _Please_ Chara. You’ve already done enough. Let’s just… go home. Mom will be worried if we’re missing, o-or hurt. I won’t risk you doing something stupid!”

The insult stings, but you let it roll off your back. The look on Frisks face though, in their eyes…

Hm.

After another quick look over your shoulder at the man, you observed he was still cowering a few paces away. He’d even dropped his own ‘weapon’. Turning back to Frisk, you sighed and nodded briskly, shoving your hands in your jacket pocket, along with the knife. Frisk let out a breath and pulled at your elbow again, hastily leading you towards the playground entrance ahead. You followed dutifully with little more than a final glare cast at the pathetic stranger behind you, letting yourself be led back home by your more merciful half. It had been too easy. Too easy...

 

...

 _Damnit_ . _What were you thinking?_

 

-

 

The rest of the trip back to the house had been made in silence, Frisk pulling at your arm as though they expected you to get swept away -

Or to run.

You pursed your lips and kept moving just behind them, climbing up the rusty ladder to your bedroom window with ease. You were surprised it didn’t break, given how heavy your heart was. Once Frisk was through they shut the window, and took your hand again to silently lead you out of the bedroom and onto the landing. Surprised, you continued to stumble behind like a lamb, a frown returning to your features. Didn’t they want to get to bed now, before Toriel woke up? Any attempts to question them aloud resulted in your being hushed, as Frisk led you to the kitchen and broke away to rummage in the cupboards. You slumped down on a kitchen stool and watched as they brought out chocolate powder, mini marshmallows and vanilla essence - the hot chocolate works. A small smile crept across your face as they placed two mugs of milk in the microwave, pressing a couple buttons before coming to sit down next to you. You tilted your head back and let out a long sigh.

“That was stupid.”

“...Naw. That view was wonderful. Colour me surprised, Chara. You’re officially _un_ predictable.”

You chuckled and dragged a hand through your hair. Of course they’d gloss over what you were really getting at. Part of you was grateful they were so willing to forget, but…

Frisk always was really good at the whole forgiveness thing.

You sat hunched over and tense, fingers tugging at the fraying fabric under the stool.

“And,” Frisk continued, “It was brave. Stupid brave, but brave all the same.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you turned to face them. So they did mention it, after all. Anxious red eyes searched their smile, but found nothing hidden in the corners. They stood, summoned by the beeping of the microwave, and your shoulders relaxed just a bit. You felt your face warm when they gave you perhaps a few more spoonfuls of chocolate powder than the packaging recommended. The early morning light finally began to filter in through the kitchen windows as you both drained your mugs and began to head up the stairs to bed. Luckily it was a weekend, so Toriel probably wouldn’t be too suspicious if you both slept till noon. And, with all the excitement had tonight, perhaps sleep would decide to be merciful at last.

“...Goodnight Frisk.”

“Goodnight Chara. Or, heehee, good morning!”

“Mhm. Go to sleep, you nerd.”

“Haha, love you too!”

Well. You found it hard to argue with that. You smiled into your pillow and licked the last of the chocolate off your lips, closing your eyes and letting your heavy body become weightless. As sleep took you away, you faintly thought about how lucky you were. For everything.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> It sure has been a while, huh? I was reluctant to post any fics because I'm a damn perfectionist, but I really love this little oneshot, so I thought I'd finally share it, even if it's almost a year old.


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